Imagine my plight: I, a full-grown American male, would like nothing better than to do my own laundry. But where is the detergent for me? Everywhere, the scents are flowery meadow this, springtime seabreeze that. Finally, a new contender emerges—FREY enters the fray—and I am liberated at last.
To my future daughter,
You’ve found your pillow partner. Your forever friend. The person you want to share a Hyundai with for the rest of your life. Why not make the ceremony that joins you in an unbreakable flesh bond somewhat memorable and good?
It’s 2015 and sticking your face in another person’s butthole for mutual pleasure is maybe surprising but not really that shocking. Booty eating is mainstream HBO fodder. But like nature hates vacuums, we need sexual extremes to orient ourselves, and the 2015 It Taboo might as well be incest.
I am a big magazine boy with many important things to say about the Samsung Galaxy S7 smartphone, but the most important thing you should know about me is this: I have done Bad Things.
I’ll admit it: I used to be different. A real guy’s guy, more interested in knocking back a few beers with my buddies at the local tavern and politely complimenting the barmaid on her perky honkers than I was in watching women’s gymnastics, or reading Elena Ferrante. But then something happened that changed my life…
I’m really sorry to bother you, but my ability to feed myself depends on your answer to the question in the headline that I’m going to reprint to save your hand the work of scrolling and/your eyes the burden of peering upward: Do you like me?
If you are like me, a lonely artisan in the big city who makes crude wooden toys for a living, then all the modern trappings of dating—the break-up, “ghosting,” “benching,” Tindr, etc.—just don’t seem to cut it anymore.
Follow me into the bathroom, I want to tell you a story about my life.
Sex, dating, clothes, relationships, politics, sex, women—men have opinions about all of these things. And yet, there’s nowhere on the internet where you can go to read them. That changes today. Welcome to The Cuck, a pop-up, bespoke men’s site, for men.
